I guess you could say I am a mess

I've just run into a tunnel in my life and I can't seem to find the light at the end, or even the walls to know if i'm going in the right direction. I've left one of my biggest dreams behind for reasons beyond my control but I still can't help but feel that i've lost myself completely in that decision. I am not in any emotional distress of any sort, I am just at a loss of what is to come next in my life.
I've come to a point where I am at a road of convenience and a road of the unknown and while I know which road I should take I can't help but question the other as well. Time has never been a companion of mine and I don't depend on it now, but I can't help but beg for a few spare seconds to catch my breath before I dive into another decision, another commitment.
I look to the future with optimism and hope, but the remnants of the past cling to the walls of my home keeping me safe and warm. How can I abandon that, the security of what I know? I've left so many times and everything pulls me back to this prison.

I cling to my dreams because they've come to be the only parts of me that don't change or tire. They're endless and they give me somewhere to hide. I've faced my dream once and leaving it behind put a crack in my soul.  That dream wove so many new possibilities, but it was as if my fingers grew numb and I had to drop them all. I feel as if I were driving down a highway and the roads disappeared. I am still going somewhere, but at this point I have no clue where i'll end up.

The Best Last Day Ever (part 2)

We got to Hollywood Studio's around 5:30 pm and we headed straight to the Tower of Terror, which is my baby. The Tower of Terror is beyond my favorite ride at any of the parks, I could ride it all day. I love the atmosphere, the story line and of course the plummeting down the elevator shaft! This was an extra special night because we ran into my favorite cast member, and I made a fool of myself in front of him. I had gotten a little over excited when I realized he was working, and I may or may not have creeped him out a bit. After I returned to my usual color and we fell down 13 stories we made our way through the gift shop where I admired all the Tower Merch and made my first purchase of a Tower of Terror shirt.  After that we headed to the last place I planned on going in Studio's, to see the Osborne Family Lights. I had been once the week before to see them and I was in love! The lights are so beautiful that I had to go one last time before I took my leave to admire them.

We enjoyed the "Snoap" and lights until the park closed at 8 then we headed to The Boardwalk Resort for our reservations at the Flying Fish. Now the Flying Fish is a rather pricy restaurant that is known for it's amazing seafood and steak! Being a Cast Member I received a holiday book full of coupons one of them being a 50% off Dining coupon which I intended to use!
We got sat down at the Flying Fish and had the most wonderful waiter (Bob from Ohio). He greeted us and took our drink order and surprised us by bringing us complimentary cups of a potato leak soup.

After the surprise treat we all ordered our own appetizers, I ordered a shrimp and Calamari dish that was amazing! The calamari rings were so tender, and the shrimp was so flavorful! The only thing I wish I had considered was that this dish was deep fried so to eat it all myself it was quite heavy.

After looking at the menu I had to order the Crusted New York Strip steak, which is one of the things the Flying Fish is known for, and it did not disappoint. It was succulent and juicy, and so full of flavor! It is one of the best steaks I have ever had, anywhere! 

After we had such a large meal we opted to share a dessert! We got a trio of Boardwalk favorites which included a caramel corn cheesecake, a Cherry limeade popsicle, and a S'more on a chocolate stick! I voted for this dessert because I absolutely love S'mores, and the S'more came on a chocolate stick with a homemade marshmallow cemented with chocolate between two homemade cookies. Now when waiter Bob caught wind that I was not sharing the S'more he brought out two more for my friends! We all had a good laugh about it. I have to admit the S'more was good but the winner in the dessert was the popsicle we all agreed that it had a really great taste!

Now Bob being the best waiter ever knew it was my last day at Disney, and he brought us an extra special dessert! He brought us over a fig creme Brûlée! Now I am not a fan of figs because of a past traumatic experience, but my friends said it was amazing!

With my 50% off coupon the bill came to just over $126 but that includes a $34 tip. We saved over $88.00 which is amazing to me!

I was really happy to be able to spend the time with my friends, it made it a lot easier leaving knowing that I had been able to do everything I wanted to one last time! 

I am really lucky that I had such a wonderful manager who went out of her way to give me that day off. I had everything from my apartment packed up and I turned in my Keys and ID at 9:00 am the next morning and made the 17 hour drive home.

I think I will remember the events from the day forever, because they were so magical to me and it was all so much more then I could ask for!

The best last day ever! (Part 1)

My last day at Disney was Saturday November 16th and it was one of the best days I think I've ever had! I had a pretty good idea of how I wanted to spend my day, a few rides I wanted to hit and of course some quality friend time!
Our first stop for the day was to the Magic Kingdom with my friend Kayla. The first thing we did was hit up Space Mountain for a Fast Pass. Then we headed back behind the castle and rode the Haunted Mansion. After we got off that we headed over to Jungle I mean the renovated Jingle Cruise to grab a fast pass. After that is was back across the main hub where we stopped for a selfie in front of the castle:

We then continued on our way back through Tomorrowland to Space Mountain! Using our handy dandy fast passes the wait for Space Mountain wasn't to long at all. After we got off Space Mountain we met up with two of our other friends and headed back to the center of the hub for a group picture in front of the castle. After 3 months we hadn't taken one of those pictures yet!

After that Kayla had to head off to work, so Hillary, Jen and I walked around the castle and just hung out for a bit. At 1:20 I had to leave them and meet up with my friend and co-worker Blythe for lunch at Cinderellas Royal Table! It is nearly impossible to get a reservation there.  After taking our picture with Cinderella we were called up stairs to sit at our table. At Cinderellas Royal Table you prepay when you make your reservation, but you get a 3 course meal. The starter is a tray containing cheese, hummus and a salad. I'll admit i wasn't a huge fan of it, but my main course was a roasted chicken with a risotto and shallot confit.

Let me tell you, that was delicious! The risotto wasn't very warm when it came out, but the chicken combined with the shallot confit was absolutely amazing! Just looking at the picture is making me hungry for more! When it came to Dessert, I couldn't help but get the special which is called "The Clock Strikes Twelve" a Chocolate cake topped with a white chocolate mousse, covered in chocolate.
I mean who in their right mind wouldn't order that?

I am not a big chocolate eater, but this was one of the best desserts I've eaten in a long time. The cake was really thin, and the mousse was really light and fluffy. It was amazing!
After taking some pictures with some princesses (Ariel, Aurora, Jasmine and Snow White), Wishing on our Wishing Stars, and some photos of the restaurant we headed to back onto the streets of Fantasyland.
We made a quick stop at Mickey's Philharmagic because that is one of my favorite attractions at Magic Kingdom and the wait was 10 minutes which is code for walk on.

We then head back over to Adventure land because one of the things on my list was to take a trip on the Jingle Cruise!
We had to wait in the stand by line because my previous fast passes has already expired, but we had a lot of fun chatting and enjoying the holiday decor while we waited, and it was all worth it for the corniest holiday jokes!

After that we headed back up to the Main Street USA where I made a stop in a shop to buy myself a Disney Dooney and Burke bag. After that we hopped on the monorail and went back to the contemporary and hopped on a bus to Hollywood Studio's.

This concludes part 1 of the Best Last Day ever, Part 2 will be posted pictures and all Tomorrow.

Faith, Trust and Pixie Dust

I have a sad update my friends, I am no longer living in Orlando Florida creating magic. Due to health problems I had to end my program nearly 7 months early. I was severely heart broken, but it was a decision made for the better. I was given a green light by my managers that I could come back at any time, which is an extremely comforting thought.
I did manage to have the best last two days ever which I will made a huge post about with pictures and stories because it was far too perfect now too share!

While I am sad that I had to leave Disney I have faith that I will return one day.

My Recipe for Homemade Marshmallows!

What you'll Need:

• 1/4 teaspoon of salt
• 1 teaspoon of Vanilla Extract
• 1/4 cup of confectioners sugar
• 1/4 cup of cornstarch
• 1 cup of cold water
• 1 cup of light corn syrup
• 1 1/2 cups of granulated sugar
• 3 packages of unflavored gelatin
• Candy thermometer

What to do:

1. Put 1/2 cup of cold water and unflavored gelatin in a large mixing bowl.
2. In a saucepan combine the remaining 1/2 cup of water with the salt,  corn syrup, and granulated sugar.
3. Turn the saucepan on to a medium heat, cover and cook for 3 to 4 minutes.
4. Clip your candy thermometer to the side of your saucepan and bring the mixture up to 240 degrees fahrenheit, will take between 5 and 10 minutes. Do not leave the mixture unattended!
5. Remove the mixture from the stove as soon as it reaches the proper temperature.
6. Using the whisk attachment turn your mixture on to a low speed.
7.  Slowly pour in the hot mixture from the pan.
8. Whisk the mixture until it is thick and lukewarm it will take about 15 minutes.
9. In the last 2 minutes add your flavoring, Vanilla extract for classic marshmallows but feel free to mix it up!
10. After you've finished add the mixture to your prepared pan.
11. Allow the pan to sit for 3 hours

How to prepare your pan:

Spray your pan with a non-stick cooking spray and add the cornstarch and confectioners sugar. Shake and coat the pan liberally. 

Extra tip:

When you go to cut your marshmallows have a bag of cornstarch and confectioners sugar nearby. Drop your marshmallows in right after you cut it and give it a good shake. 

These marshmallows make a great addition to hot cocoa, or just for roasting and eating plain.